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               I Almost Died, But Came Back!
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         About Me!
                - NEW REVISION COMING SOON! -
My name is Billy Dee. Well, actually Billy Dee is my show name. I am 60 years old. I am married to a wonderful and loving Christian wife of 37 years. That really says something in the age we are living in today, with the growing numbers of people living together before marriage, along with the rising divorce rate. I am a born again Christian TV and movie producer/director/entertainer. I am disabled due to a deteriorating spine over the past two or more decades. Show biz has been one of my life long loves. In the past 14 years since I got into show biz, I had my own Christian TV broadcast of a variety of wholesome, moral family Christian programs for about 5 years, and during the 1990s and up in 2004 to 2005. With my worsening spine, I have been able to produce a few DVD music videos for top music performers since then, including a new movie. Since 2001 I started the “only” official “Jim Varney Tribute & Fan Site” on the world wide web. Many of you may have seen the “Ernest” movies. “Ernest Goes To Camp” “Ernest Goes To Jail”, only to name just a few of several of the Ernest movies that were very popular in 80s and 90s. My web site carries Christian messages, as Jim Varney was a born again Christian. Better to visit the site and take in all the reading, photos and information and story of Jim's life. The Internet address is “jimvarney.org”. And do leave a message in my guest book. Guaranteed, you will love it. Before getting into show biz, I was an office machine service repair technician for over 20 years. I have three adult children, and between the ages of 34 and 41 and one in heaven. My wife Sharon and I live in a mobile home in South West Wisconsin.
My Faith In God Was Almost Shipwrecked!
As much as I wanted to believe that God could forgive me, I just kept on loosing more and more ground, as well as I could not forgive myself of the past and all its sins. On May 23rd of 2006, that all came to an end through extraordinary events where I met with the king of kings, Jesus Christ Himself. A day before May 23rd, I had spoken with my pastor and told him that I wanted to go home, and to be with Jesus,
as I could not go on any further, along with severe daily pain in my body, and the incredible emotional pain and depression(which was caused by the weight of my past sins, and often because of the physical pain in my spine, and not feeling the love of Jesus),it was just more then I could take any longer. I truly wanted to die and not just be out of physical pain, but also out of all the deep emotional pain. God is a God of miracles, and little did I know, within 24 hours He had a plan to save my life, and change me in many new ways. I had to almost die or leave my body (which as I see it, I was close to death), and God did that to get my attention, and wake me up! God actually shot me through and through with His supernatural power beams of His love. Since that day that I almost died, I keep asking myself, why me? Why did God choose to give me such an experience and a miracle?
The M.R.I. Test!
My story is not a story, but a true event about Jesus and His love. This book is also abut the over 34 years that I lived with not being able to truly find and believe Jesus forgiveness of my past sins. Even though I was born again in 1972, I had bounced back and fourth in my faith and walk with Jesus. I was one of those that would continually backslide into some of my old sins. I just never seemed to get with the program (a way to explain it). I had claimed to be of Jesus and to be born again, but I lived and often phony life, and ended up with my faith shipwrecked. Tuesday afternoon on May 23rd, my wife took me to a 1:00 PM appointment at the Veteran's Memorial hospital to have an M.R.I. The M.R.I. is a machine where a person lays down on a sliding table that goes into a tube, into the machine. The M.R.I. then takes hi-resolution pictures of a persons body, and in my case, of my spine. At approximately 1:15 PM the doctor administered an injection of a combination of drugs that were to put me to sleep, as well as control any pain in my spine.. The sedative part of the injection as I was told would make me sleep while in the tube. Not every-one who goes through the test has to be sedated. I am claustrophobic,and have had some very stressful and painful experiences in the past with the test, I am just not able to go into the tube without being sedated. The doctor informed me that I would not need a throat tube or any oxygen while being put out. He also told me the test would take roughly 20 to 30 minutes, and. I would awake without any problems. But that did not happen right away as I was led to believe. In fact, I did not awake until 2 to over 3 hours later. Almost immediately after I sat down on the sliding table, the doctor injected me with the drugs, and within a minute I was going under, even though I had not yet laid down on the table. I do remember seeing the clock on the wall which read 1:15 PM, but Later to find out that something had gone very wrong!
Leaving My Body Or Dying?
I recall seeing the medical staff around me, and shortly there after I started to hear the loud humming and clunking sounds of the M.R.I. machine in operation. It was very strange. Anyone who has been in the M.R.I. tube knows how loud and annoying the sounds the machine can be. One of the hardest things for me being in the tube of the M.R.I. machine is hearing the terrible hum and clunking sounds. That alone makes the test unbearable. So as the machine was making its sounds, I could see the medical staff around me (which I realized later after my experience, that could not be. It couldn't, because I was in the tube.) I began to leave my body. It was like a picture that I was seeing that started to break apart into geometric shapes. And in between the shapes it was black in color. The gaps between the shapes slowly widened, and the shapes drifted apart to the right and to the left in front of me. The shapes contained the images of the test room, and of the medical staff people. The people then became motionless, as time had stopped. The sounds of the M.R.I. were fading out, while at the same time I felt myself being pulled forward and upward into a dark area. An important thing I would like to add here. I am convinced that the sedative injection the doctor gave me in my I.V. was an over dose. I have no doubts about it. I am almost positive of it. I believe that for a time period I was suspended between life and death. Although the medical staff claimed the heart monitoring device they had put on my chest before I went into the tube showed normal through out the test. I have not seen any medical reports as of yet. But I am going to get copies of all the reports of that test, and any other reports surrounding that entire afternoon.
In A Dark Place?
I was ascending upwards, and the geometric shapes had all vanished. The humming and clunking of the M.R.I machine had totally gone. I found myself in a dark area, and at the present, very alone. But that was soon to change. In that dark area I recall looking around and then noticing stars above me. I just could not seem to put it altogether of where I was. I did begin to feel a bit frantic, and started to worry. I knew who I was, and I was there, where ever there was. I almost instantly did a frantic reality check to make sure I was still myself. I recalled my name, my wife and my children's names, where I lived, etc., and then I realized that my mind and normal memory was in tact and complete. But I had no physical body! Immediately, I recall saying, “I am dead! I must be, because this is no dream. I am here and I know what is going on. Perhaps I am dying? But this is real! I want to make everyone understand at this point that I do know the difference between having a dream and being awake.
After comprehending the incredible fact that what was happening to me, and it was real, and I was awake, I started to become more and more aware of where I was. I looked up in the darkness and saw stars and I knew I was in outer space. And then for a very short period of time, I glanced over my left shoulder and saw the earth from what appeared to be hundreds of miles away. I could see the clouds over the lands, and the curvature of the earth. It was very bright, as the sun was showing on the that part of the earth. I had only looked over my left shoulder for a few seconds, and then just instantly turned back, as the awesome view startled me. But not just startled by the sight of the earth, but with the realization that I was above the earth, and not in my body. Although I had no body, I knew who I was, and I could feel my being. I just could not get over the fact of where I was, and that it was reality! It was happening! Like I mentioned briefly before, I felt a serenity, while also feeling worried and concerned. While I was feeling that way, I still had serenity and peace! I realize I have repeated that, but it was such an incredible feeling of being. I also noticed, and almost immediately after leaving my body, and in the dark space, the pain in my spine and body had totally left me. The feeling of the sedative and drugs were also gone. I had never felt so emotionally and spiritually good and sound as I felt then while I was out of my body. All the pressures, stress and worries of life had vanished. The feeling is beyond anything I can really describe. It was like the chains of life had been taken off of me. It was then I felt the presence of Jesus Christ. I was very amazed by the fact that although I could not see Him visually, Jesus was there! I had no doubt about it then, and I have no doubts about it now, or will I ever have any doubts, ever! HE was there!
Talking With Jesus!
Just as soon as the full realization hit me that Jesus was there, I began to ask Him questions. I didn't know at that time that He was actually going to answer me, and my questions. The first question that I asked Jesus, is why I felt the way I did, and my not feeling the pressures of life, and the emotional and physical pain I was constantly in from one degree to another, and why such a feeling of serenity and total calm that I felt? But then it happened! I had no idea that I was about to actually hear the voice of Jesus Christ Himself. I am sorry, but I cannot find all the appropriate words to truly and completely describe the very first time I have ever heard the voice of Jesus. Can anyone possibly even imagine hearing audibly the voice of God? The answer is obviously, no! I do believe there are people in the world that have heard the voice of God or Jesus. But I am sure to say, there have been only but a few. I still cannot get over hearing HIS voice. And I know I will never, ever get over hearing that awesome voice of Jesus. I will cherish the memory of having the privilege of which few have ever received from God. Jesus answered my question and told me the reason I felt no physical pain, and the weight of life's worries, confusions, sins, and stress, because I was away from the world and it's effects. And away from sin, and because I was not in my fleshly body. Praise His most precious and wonderful name! Jesus showed me that the world has come to the worst condition of sin, evil and wickedness then has ever been since He created mankind and this world. Can you imagine? In other words, we have surpassed such infamous great cities of sin as those of Sodom and Gomorah, only to mention but a few.
And to realize this world has surpassed the time of Noah, and that great time of sin is almost unbelievable, or is it? It staggered my soul to hear Jesus tell me that mankind has set the new record for sin. Jesus continued on to explain to me that He has to come back sooner to the world to deal with it. His actual words, and I remember them clearly, were these. “I am coming back sooner!” Glory to God! I was startled and shocked when Jesus said that to me in His voice, sooner! Jesus made it clear to me that because of the great sin in the world, and the condition of the world being the worst since He created man, is that He has speeded up His schedule. I felt almost paralyzed with awe, and fear of God after hearing that from Him. To know that God has speeded up his time clock to return Jesus earlier then originally planned on coming, is more then I can possibly comprehend. Other then, I know now without a shadow of a doubt, Jesus is coming back, and He is coming back to deal the world a death blow to sin. And He is coming back to take away and off of the world, HIS own. Those who love Him, and are born again, will go with Him when He comes back. I feel strongly to say, like never before, Jesus is coming back soon! And I believe now more then I ever have, that Jesus is returning, possibly within my life time. And I am 65 years old. I feel very strangely assured that I may be alive to see the return of Jesus Christ. Glory to God! Jesus was extremely saddened in his voice when He told me that He is coming back sooner! I could not only hear the pain in His voice, but also the deep sadness as well. The actual voice of God, Jesus, is like something I have never heard before in my entire life. His voice is the most beautiful, powerful, kind voice I have ever heard. Now here comes the hardest part of trying to explain to the readers. I did hear Jesus speaking audibly as I would hear anyone talk in life.
But that His voice was very different. He not only spoke audibly, but also His words went into my soul. That is the best way I can explain it. It is to very difficult to even begin to find the words to use to explain it all. Jesus voice is as I said, is beautiful, as well as powerful, kind, loving, gentle, and very masculine. After Jesus had stated that He was coming sooner, I had for a moment felt that perhaps I should ask Him if I could go to heaven and not return to my body and the earth. But later, I told Jesus that I wanted to go home, because I loved my dear wife, and wanted to be with her. I will explain more of that later on. I realize now there is only one way to make it in the world, in life, and to keep ones sanity, as well as to keep ones faith, and spirituality is that we must love Jesus and with all our hearts and our souls, as there is no other way to make it. In fact I learned from Jesus that He wants us to be completely and totally be in love with Him. I asked Jesus another very important question, and one that has bothered me since I was about 12 years old. I saw on TV a special program on the Holocaust in Germany in world war two. I couldn’t believe my eyes at seeing all the old film clips from that era of the concentration camps, and all the dead and dying people. I have never been able to understand why a loving God would permit such an atrocity to happen, and why He did not intervene, and had done nothing to stop the murdering of millions of innocent people. I got my answer from Him.
He told me, and with deep pain in His voice. (And this is the actual words that He spoke to me. “I cannot help those who will not accept me or believe in me. I will hear them and help them if they will believe in me, and accept me as their Lord and savior.” What Jesus said to me was clear, that if people will not believe in Him as Lord and Saviour, and not ask Him to help, HE cannot do anything for them. His hands are tied. And that all those children that also died in the holocaust, (the ones that were not at the age of accountability), had not perished, but went straight to heaven. Realizing again, and even more so that I was either dead or I had left my body, I knew in my being that when I first realized that Jesus was there with me in that dark space, that could have very well been the time that I was there to see if I would be going with Jesus to heaven or not. I had for a moment thought it was my judgment day. I became again very worried, the way I had been when I had first arrived. Perhaps a little panic is a better word to use of just how I felt. I spoke out and said to Him, “I have sin in my life, and shortcomings!” I almost yelled those words out to Him. But then I suddenly stopped and asked him a question that I needed to hear from Him more then anything else. “Jesus, do you love me? Please, I have to know if you really do love me?” Then, in His most beautiful and wonderful voice, He spoke to me these words. “I love you very much!” He never once mentioned a thing about my shortcomings, nothing! He was only interested in getting me to believe one thing from Him, and that is that He loved me. I knew that I was saved and born again, but that I knew that I was condemning myself for being so weak and not believing in His forgiveness and His love, that I had done for so many years.
I feel it is very important to explain this. I did have sort of a love for Jesus, but not the kind of love that He wants and needs. I discovered a key in my miracle experience with Jesus, and that the key to knowing and loving Jesus, having faith in Him, that we need to give Him 100% of our love. Not some of it. Not part of it. But ALL of it! Loving Jesus with all of our heart and soul is the key to everything, including being born again and walking with Jesus. The word of God says this, (I will paraphrase that word). Faith comes by hearing, and hearing the word of God. But I also believe now, that faith (and I am talking about a powerful faith), comes by loving God 100%. Getting back to when I asked Jesus if He loved me? I just could not believe it. I wanted to so badly, but I just could not believe it. Even after hearing His voice telling me that He loved me. Well, Jesus had more in store for me, and soon I would know 100% that He did love me, but in a most powerful and supernatural way, and through an awesome event, that defies description. But before I explain all that, I had seen a glimpse of Jesus.
Jesus Appeared!
During my entire experience, mostly, Jesus spoke with me, as well as I had spoken to him several times. When I was asking Jesus if He loved me, I saw the countenance of Christ appear to my right. Jesus appeared in my peripheral vision. Which means, I saw him out of the corner of my eye to the right of my being. I did not see Him directly as I felt I was not allowed to look upon Him directly. I could make out that He had long beautiful brown hair, a dark face, and somewhat rugged in appearance. His appearance was unlike anything I had ever seen in many of the artists concepts of how Jesus looks. I also saw a brilliant light around Him. I only saw Him but for a short period of time, before His visual appearance just vanished. The next day after my experience, it came to me that no one has seen God, other then Moses, who only saw His backside. God had held his hand over Moses eyes, as he passed by Moses. And as soon as God had passed by Him, God removed His hand, and Moses actually saw the back side of God Himself. So I knew then why I was not allowed to look directly at Jesus (God). I felt as if I was in ecstasy with that short glimpse of seeing Jesus, God! I kept saying to myself, why me? Why me? Out of all the millions of people in the world, why was I chosen or allowed to look upon the King of Kings Himself? But that I was allowed to see Him, but only indirectly. I count myself as one of the few fortunate's, to have even been able not only to see Him, but to hear His voice and be able to actually have spoken with Him. I will be ever grateful for such an incredible, and awesome blessing, and the ecstasy of it all. I will undoubtedly carry this miracle experience through the rest of my life. I have been with Jesus Christ, and I have spoken to him, and heard His own voice. Can you possibly imagine the experience? It had happened to me, and I cant get over it, or will I ever get over it.
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